For those of you who have been faithfully following the news, the news is that there is no news. How long does it take to decide who is worthy of receiving money? It's already July and the Cambridge term starts in October. And still the jury has no verdict. One and a half years of uncertainty dogs me like a line of dismal shadows.
I will rant and rave. I have spent close to three months of my life in Rag Day preparations. It started out as an innocent effort to keep my Hall stay in NUS for the next year and has now turned into a full-blown, 24/7 commitment. I have made friends here. I love where I am now. And I want to see the float succeed. But I still can't be 100% sure that I'm staying. It's a one-in-a-thousand chance I'll get enough money to go--still enough to cause me to see everything with a shade of uncertainty.
Cambridge is a blur on the horizon, a distant shadowy place to me. Here is where the sun shines right now. It's been so long...sometimes I wonder if I just dreamt the whole thing up.
In a state of colour: the interminable grey of uncertainty.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
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